Change. It is quick, and often relentless. 2015 involved one of the biggest changes of my adult life. I left the only church I’d ever known, ready strike off on a new path.
So little of this decision involved prior knowledge or even intuition. Instead, it felt silly. It felt like God was gently saying, “It’s time.” So away I went. I said one of the most grueling goodbyes I’ve ever said to some of the people I love the most: Hilly and Jonathan. They nurtured me through my youth and young adulthood with so much grace. They weren’t surrogate parents (I have two of the most loving parents a person could have), but they helped center me in my spiritual journey and had guided me through some low valleys in my life. I am forever grateful for their love and tutelage.
Saying goodbye to my old church meant saying goodbye to them and to my ministries…
A couple weeks ago, I found myself onstage at my new church. Being part of the worship team at Vineyard of Harvest, on Christmas Sunday, was the utmost honor.
Not even a year ago, I was saying goodbye. Now, I’ve been welcomed into a new community and it’s been world-changing in my life. Not only have I a great group of new friends and a new community to be a part of, I’ve been able to do church life with my best friend: Angela.
She is my rock, the most solid person I could possibly lean on this side of Heaven. We reached our one-year mark in 2015.
2013 - early 2014 marked some of the darkest times of my life. It was a period in which it seemed that ever door was closed. I experienced deep rejection and slander. I cried through it, questioned myself and everything I knew, and poured my soul onto the ground through it all. Thankfully though, I had some good friends who knew me well enough to punch me in the gut and help me get through it.
One friend of mine simply reminded me to not be lame and to get up and not let the painful opinions of others get the best of me. Another friend of mine pointed me to the book of Job, my namesake. In this story, Job’s house literally collapses on top of his family. He loses everything. He cries. He questions. He pours his soul out. Then God tells him to literally grow a pair and be a man. He is afflicted with enormous amounts of pain, but He refuses to ever curse God and die.
We read that everything eventually gets restored to him, twice over. He refuses to curse God and die, and his faithfulness is justified.
2014-2015 feels like my own restoration period. Doors to redemption have reopened, and in them are found hope and life. I have found my ministry calling begin to slowly be restored in a meaningful way. I have found new callings, as I pursue a potential teaching career. Change is crazy, and it brings discomfort and a boat load of uncertainty. But here, at the end of 2015, I am thankful for life with God and family. I am thankful for redemption. I am thankful that though life changes, God never does.
Change. It is quick and often relentless. But it always brings us home.